"Hey Indian!" "Are you a doctor?" "Can you cook Indian food for me?"
These are common calls I deal with when I walk down the streets of Castries (and many other parts of Saint Lucia for that matter). In Saint Lucia, a lot of people will think I am in medicine as there are a lot of Indian med students here.
For the record, my heritage is Pakistani and I am a Canadian, making me a Pakistani-Canadian. I wear both identities with pride and honour. The way I dress does not make me any less Canadian and the way I talk does not make me any less Pakistani.
I do not feel insulted to be thought of as another race, because there is so much beauty they bring into this world, however, I want to be identified for the person I am, rather than the person I am
seen as. I know this is an uphill battle.
In exactly 2 months time, I will be back home. When I think about returning home, I think of all the things I am looking forward to and all the things I am not.
The feeling of being seen as a novelty, being asked unbelievably ignorant questions, being treated as the embodiment of a culture in one person are among things I do not look forward too.
I am scared of how people will look at me back home. In Saint Lucia, I am an Indian, I am a doctor. The stereotypes surrounding people who have South Asian heritage are generally not negative ones.
When I reflect this thought, I feel a deep sense of hurt. I hate that I have to feel okay with experiencing less "racism." I hate that I am okay with being stereotyped - when stereotypes are positive. Why am I happy with being thought of something that's not even me?
It is worth mentioning that my experiences here have not always been positive.
When I have told people that I am Muslim or that I have a brother named Mohammed (sorry for disclosing your name to the public little brother), people have expressed a sense of fear towards me, some even going as far as telling me that they hope I don't blow them up.
Before you make negative judgments towards Lucian for that statement, I have heard words just as harsh, if not harsher, in Canada. Racism is something I, like many people, cannot escape.
All of this leads me to one sad conclusion,
Mankind can make medical breakthroughs, send people to space, develop ideas that inspire people, we can explore greats depth of the oceans, we can educate entire nations with knowledge and yet...we cannot overcome our ignorance on race.
Is judging people as individuals so much harder than judging people on stereotypes? Is our will that weak?
Until the moment I die, I will not know what it is like to not experience racism.
What a sad thought.
Until next time,
-Ko.
