Week 16: To be Loved

Something so incredibly beautiful happened to me this week.

Are you already embracing yourselves for the mushiness and cheesiness you about to read? Good, because I am too.

Someone told me they loved me this week.

Love is a liberty is that all too apparent in my life. Words cannot express the kindness and love I receive from the world.

It is the energy that carries us in our worst moments and it is the power that keeps us strong. Aren't we lucky to have it?

I warned you about being cheesy and mushy. Don't gag on me now. Okay, maybe a little gagging is allowed. I can be gross. Sometimes even a little icky.

This week was the first time a person in Saint Lucia told me they loved me. I would like to remind you that I have been here for 3 and a half months so I was a bit taken back when the comment was made. How can someone conclude they loved me when they barely knew me and in such a short period of time?

My usual immediate knee jerk reaction to these things is "WHY?!" followed by "why must I question everything?" (the many musings of my mind, it's a dangerous, dark, evil, fluffy place. Best not entered)

Once upon a time in my life, I didn't think I was worthy of love. I didn't think that I deserved the kindness I was given, I didn't think that someone could love me so fast, I could not understand people's motives for saying the things they would say to me - when it came down to it, I didn't think I deserved a lot of things.

I am happy that point in my life is over and being in Saint Lucia has helped speed up my healing process.

Rather than my usual reaction of questioning why this woman told me she loved me, I felt a sense of gratitude. I didn't question the length of how long she knew me, I didn't question the depth of our relationship, I didn't question if I deserved the words that she could never take back.

Those words belonged to me now and what a privilege it is to possess words spoken with such sincerity.

So, I did what I should have done all along,

I told her I loved her too.

Until next time,

-Ko.